(Butternut) Squash

Worthless, flavourless sludge masquerading as a vegetable - should be banned.

A great shame has befallen the family..

My younger brother has been 'outed' as a Metrosexual. A regular commuter to London from middle England he can now be spotted wearing drain-pipe denim trousers (skinny jeans  I believe they are called) and pink polo shirts of an apparently superior brand. He always smells 'nice' according to my wife (ugh!) and now only drinks G&T when out - even with other chaps. Evidently flatulence caused by the intake of yeasty ale offends him. I read the 21st century definition (below) and it fits him to a tee..

metrosexual

mɛtrəˈsɛkʃuəl/

noun

informal

1. a heterosexual urban man who enjoys shopping, fashion, and similar interests traditionally associated with women or homosexual men.

Bernard Manning

Watching one of those tiresome 'Top 100' TV compilations last night  Bernard was once again cast as a villain and made  the principal focus for the lacklustre program bought to us by some faux-shocked 21st century PC nobodies. I think it was calle Top Bad TV moments and was presented by a clutch of C-list presenters, most of whom weren't even born in the era they were attempting to mock. It seems that these unimaginitave makers of TV 'wadding' have no other targets than the man who could fill Blackpool's Sandcastle venue for an entire summer season - right up until the 90s. They conveniently forget Bernard's Jewish background and focus on the bawdy comedy that was loved by most everyone in the 70s and 80s. Try and compare Bernard to his contemporaries and shows such as 'Til Death Us Do part, and the clever Guardian readers will point out that Jonny Speights writing was full of satire and that the joke was on Alf - try telling that to the millions of 'not-so-clever' tabloid readers who enjoyed the show without getting the joke -  a convenient get-out for the BBC commissioners?

Of course BM became an anachronism and probably held out for too long - outlasting his colleagues on 'The Comedians' for many years. However it is now 'trendy' to poke fun at the70s and in particular Bernard as he was the greatest proponent of the art. Not excusable in the 21st Century maybe but bloody good fun in the 70s and 80s !