Guinness..

 ..if you didn't know it yet is the new fad drink for the (not so) discerning GenZ and Millenials. So its out with G&T  and in with the sub-standard Oirish stout, (Magners meanwhile remains just a distant fad memory).

Hang around any 'trad pub' in London these days and you can't help but overhear the more youthful clientele wanking on about how  Pub X serves the best Guinness in town - 'it's the way they keep it', 'they get it specially from  from Dublin you know' etc.. So let's get a couple of things clear

    1) Its a pressurised keg beer these days (in fact since the 60s*)  - it's almost impossible to fuck it up -     like opening a can. So no, Pub X serves precisely the same chilled crap as Pub Y.

    2) All Guinness in the British Isles has been brewed in Dublin since they shut the London Park Royal brewery in  2005. That said they are planning a MicroBrewery in Covent Garden no doubt to pacify the braying hordes.

* prior there was some real effort required to pour a decent  pint as it used a 'two barrel' process - one effectively provided the froth/head and a small amount of fizzy body and a much flatter barrel the main volume. The head was poured first left to settle and teh main poured down the side.

Gregg Wallace II

 Well, who'd have thought it? Greg Wallace is a outed as an uncouth wanker. Well 'Middle England' here for one, see below..

BTW does the fact I identified him as an odious little prick  nine  years ago afford  the same kudos as seeing Pink Floyd 'before they were famous'.

https://theglumrant.blogspot.com/2015/12/gregg-wallace.html

Beavertown 'Neck Oil' et al

 Ghastly, vastly overpriced 'craft beer' that supposedly tastes of fruit - something akin to a shandy of yesteryear but with an added  wanker surcharge. Want a decent pint of bitter - try a Black Sheep or something by a local brewery not owned by Heineken.

PS 'Neck Oil' FFS - nice one Grandad

Drew Pritchard

Smug, tortoise-headed, tedious, short-arsed, aldulterous, bullshitting twat.  Yeah I'm really into everything in the whole world too. 

Got your motorbike test, really? No thought not.

Paddle boarding..

 Did anyone ever devise are more stupid-looking, pointless water activity (for water-sports see Urban Dictionary) - get one for instant street cred reduction.

Medals, medals, medals

 Like Dick Dastardly's side-kick Mutley the unseemly contest for most medals has just concluded in Paris.

Since around 2004 the UK has cynically targetted sports where you can effectively 'buy' medals with extra cash, for example by buying the best push-bikes (designed by Lotus no less) for the velodrome etc.. Meanwhile grass rooots facilitities for sport are starved of cash and the average Joe finds his local pool is now shut, alongside the running track.

Am I alone in thinking that the 'pure' running, throwing and jumping 'events' are the principal ones in which sporting prowess is down to the individual and not so much the facilities and funds that are thrown at it? It's little surprise that the poorer nations do not compete in 'expensive events' such as rowing & sailing & horse eventing. In my opinion these are lesser events as a consequence and their medals are, unfortunatley for the winners, of less merit.

PS WTAF is the 'Kerin' cyclying event and does anyone care?

Brioche Buns

 Eh, what? How why, when did these even become a thing? Sweet or savoury? With burger? Just why? I'll take a nice floured bap or a crusty roll any day thank you.

New LandRover Defender

 Aha all hail the old Land Rover defender, boxy 4 x 4 favourite stalwart  of Welsh hill farmers (until they discovered Daihatsus and Fiat Pandas)  gamekeepers etc.. 

But now we have the new Defender, and they'er every-fucking-where.  Bought by the more timid cunt trying desperately to look less of a cunt than the Range Rover Sport driver. 

However you've been rumbled, carry on braying about your 'real' Land Rover and it's immense 4x4 capability if you like, but you're still a 24 caret twat.

F1 Racing

 Boring tedious shite for boring tedious 'fans'. Tut.

Fine Dining

 A euphemism for small portions of fussy food at inflated prices. Can't begin to describe how much I detest this type of establishment. Meanwhile  I can buy a professional grade power tool for the cost of a dinner. FFS